Strategies To Help A Senior Who Refuses Care
Most of us will face this dilemma at some point in our lives, a Parent or even Grandparents that is in desperate need of outside care but refuses to even think about letting a caregiver into their home. In most case, Assisted Living and Nursing Homes get the same response from strong-willed seniors. Even though your loved one refuses care you can no longer consciously allow them to soil themselves on a daily basis, go days without bathing, skip meals or medication, or risk falling again.
Do these scenarios seem familiar. One of the hardest situations a family caregiver will encounter, is an elderly loved one who refuses care. A family caregiver can only do so much, and caregiver stress and burnout can set in quickly.
Strategies To Help Overcome Objections From a Loved Who is Less Than Thrilled About Outside Care.
Before you push your loved ones too hard to accept help, it is important to understand their fears associated with aging. These are our parents and grandparents, the individuals who raised us. They do not want to be told by their children (grandchildren) what to do and what is best for them.
The decline of cognitive impairment is one of the most difficult times an elderly individual will go through. Just imagine going through life’s ups and downs, raising a family, retiring, only to have your brain not function as it once use to. This situation can cause agitation, anger and resilience to care. It is best as family caregivers to calmly reassure our loved ones that the frightening loss of brain function can be cared for, and in most cases in the comfort of their own home!
More Strategies For a Loved One Who Refuses Care
Do not wait until it is too late and care is needed immediately to start talking to your loved ones about different care needs. Ask your parents what their plans are for aging. See how they feel about a house keeper or driver so they can remain at home. Having these types of conversations can make the transition of care smooth after a health crisis.
Be Patient, and Listen To Understand
Often times we listen to react and not understand. This will not go over well with a reluctant senior. Ask your father what it is like to care for mom 24 hours a day? It may take having this conversation multiple times to truly understand how Dad Feels. If your mother has fired 10 Home Care Aides talk to her and ask questions to understand why. In most cases the problem is usually a simple solution. Such as, the home aide made her bacon to crispy, or she forgets to vacuum under the throw rug. Any high standard Home Care Agency would take this as constructive criticism and make the changes needed to keep your love ones completely happy and satisfied.
Suggest Options and Include Your Loved Ones In Any Final Decisions.
If your loves has had a few minor falls while bathing, suggest a non slip mat or a new walk in tub. In most situations, adult children make the initial call for Home Care. Allow your loved one to be apart of the decision-making and planning. This will still allow them to have control over their independence. For example, mom has agreed to a Home Care Aide three days a week. Have mom decide what days are best. Maybe Wednesday are better because she knows she will have a companion for community bingo.
Seek Outside Assistance Early
Sometimes elderly individuals needs to hear it from the “professionals”. Contact your local area agency on aging and ask them to send out a social worker. Hearing they need help from the horse’s mouth may help them accept care sooner. If that strategy does not work, recruit the deacon at your church, family accountant, favorite niece, or an old bingo buddy. Sometimes hearing the truth from anyone but adult children is all it takes to accept help.
Take It Slow
Once your loved one has accepted care, take it slow. Do not start having a Home Care Aide 24 hours a day or daily unless it is truly needed. Start with a few days a week, a couple of hours per shift. This will allow a relationship to be built. Before you know it your loved ones will be wanting to schedule more hours on their own.
If your or a loved is in need of care please contact us today. We can be reached 24 hours a day 7 days a week at 937-335-3941 or at www.alnseniorcare.com. If your loved isn’t sure about care we can schedule a no obligation free in-home assessment with our Home Care Nurse Specialist to answer any questions or concerns you may have.