Talking To A Loved One About Home Care
Before Home Care is considered for a loved one, family members such as children or grandchildren usually are providing some type of support to assist the loved one with Activities of Daily Living. This assistance could be minor like taking a loved one’s trash to the curb once a week, or a little more demanding like preparing meals for a loved one three times a day. No matter what type of assistance a family caregiver is providing, over time the caregiver is going to notice that their loved one needs more and more assistance. This is very natural and should not alarm the family caregiver; over time as individual’s age we will all need more support to help us with our activities of daily living.
The dilemma occurs for a family caregiver when they just do not have enough time in the day provided all the assistance a loved one requires. This is no reason to feel bad at all, on top of being a caregiver you are also balancing work, children, school, etc. and you deserve a pat on the back for everything that you do! In most cases family caregivers easily accept that their loved one needs more care and that they can no longer provide care on their own. However, elderly loved ones are not so susceptible to the thought of needing more care. The elderly would like to remain independent as long as possible and mentioning to them that they need help often turns into denial. The justification of more care can make a loved one feel like they are losing their dignity especially when it comes from a child or grandchild. This is why the approach is very important when talking to a loved one about Home Care.
In data collected by The Conversation Project, 9 in 10 Americans want to discuss health, legal, finances, and end of life care with a loved one. However, only 3 out of 10 families actually have this type of conversation with their loved ones. This is understandable, not many people want to think about a loved one’s care declining or what the circumstances may be when end of life care is needed.
These conversations are difficult but extremely necessary!
In order to make talking to a loved one about Home Care as painless as possible there are few things to consider when starting the conversation. The different tactics used when talking about Home Care depend a lot on what type of personality your loved has. A lot of elders do not like the thought of being a burden on their family. Does your loved one mention often that they hate bothering you for help? If so, bring up to them that it would be so much easier if they had an aide come out for a few hours a day and help them with any assistance they need. This approach is a win-win for both the caregiver and their loved one. The loved one will not feel like they are being a burden because they will no longer have to call for help and the caregiver will receive a helping hand without demanding it to their loved one.
Many elders fear the need for more care because they believe when the time comes that themselves or a loved can no longer care for them that their only option is to leave their home and reside in a nursing home. If this fear is ever brought to a family member’s attention, this is the perfect time to discuss Home Care. Explain to your loved that Home Care Services can be provided so that they never have to leave their home. Also reassure them that when end of life care is needed Home Care Services can be combined with Home Hospice Care Services to make sure that their end of life is made as comfortable as possible, in the familiarity of their own home. Many times financial assistance or Long Term Care Insurance can be used to offset the costs of Home Care.
Another great way to discuss Home Care with a loved one without making them feel like you doubt their abilities for them to care for themselves is to bring up companionship. Mention to your loved one that you notice they have been spending a lot of time alone. This can be used as a selling point for Home Care. With this scenario there is no need to mention that this service would be used for care purposes. Instead mention that a friend told you about his mother who has a person come visit with her for a few hours each day for companionship. This completely eliminates talking about the need for care and focuses more on your loved ones social life.
Mentioned above are a few tactics to start the discussion of Home Care for a loved. Each situation may require some type of custom approach and you as the caregiver or family member, will know the best way to start this conversation. Some of the best times to have these conversations are during the antihistamine-meds, family reunions, or special occasions when more family is around to help support the conversation. Have the conversation in your loved ones home where they are most comfortable. A conversation about home care could also be initiated while doing an activity your loved ones enjoy like walking at the park or going fishing.
If you are a caregiver or family member who knows your loved one needs Home Care but are just not sure where to start when talking to a loved one about Home Care Please Contact ALN Senior Care & Home Services at 937-524-1820, We are more than happy to assist you!